Clueless & Breathless 5K, 10K & Half

📅 Event Details: Date & Location

• Date: December 20, 2025
• Time: 7:00 a.m. PST
• Location: 6846 Owensmouth Ave, Canoga Park, CA
• Race URL: Clueless & Breathless Race Information

💖 Race Description

Like, ugh, are you seriously going to miss this? Step into your platform shoes and strut into the Clueless & Breathless 5K, 10K & Half—a 90s high school holiday run bursting with mall glam, holiday sparkle, and way too much lip gloss.

Presented by Jed & Ted’s Excellent Races.

Whether you’re a Beverly Hills princess, a debate team queen, or just trying to burn off those holiday carbs, this race is your chance to be totally buggin’—in the best way.

🏃‍♀️ Choose Your Challenge

• Clueless & Breathless 5K: This one's as quick as a shopping trip to The Galleria. Bonus if you run in plaid.
• Totally Buggin’ 10K: Longer than Cher's holiday gift list—and twice as fierce.
• The Alaïa Half Marathon: Because it's like, a totally important designer challenge. Don’t get mugged—stay hydrated.
• The Multiverse Holiday Shopping Spree (Virtual): Run any distance, from anywhere—even the food court. Your medal ships post-haste.

🎉 Event Experience

Expect mallcore energy, glam cheer zones, 90s jams, and a sprinkle of holiday chaos. Costumes strongly encouraged—extra credit for fur-trimmed Santa hats and feather pens.

🖥️ Multiverse Option

Multiverse Option (Virtual Runners Welcome!) Run virtually anytime from Dec 20–22, and we’ll mail your medal faster than a boyfriend makeover montage.

✨ Final Note

This is a Jed & Ted’s Excellent Race—fun, fast, and full of nostalgia. Sign up now. This run is like, totally important.

📜 Parody Disclaimer

This race is a fan-made parody event inspired by 90s pop culture and is not affiliated with or endorsed by any official trademark holders.